Wednesday, April 12, 2006
A Bit Frazzled By the Whole Experience But Still in One Piece!
Surely you remember the story of Little Red Riding Hood. But do you remember her grandmother? She was gobbled up by the wolf, but was miraculously saved by the kindly woodsman who forced the wolf to spit her out. Her medical condition was reported as “a bit frazzled by the whole experience but still in one piece.” What more could you expect? “All’s well that ends well.” Granny was spared to totter on to the next century, but now her very existence may be threatened.
The LA Police Department has just busted an 82-year-old-woman for taking too long to cross the street. Mayvis Coyle was given a $114 traffic ticket for obstructing traffic because she failed to make it across the street before the “Walk Signal” turned red and the traffic light changed as well. It was probably a good thing that the policeman was not working the streets of Vienna a decade or so ago. Back then the little old ladies ruled both the streets and the sidewalks. At many dangerous intersections there were no signals. You would literally take your life in your hands should you set a foot in the street filled with kamikaze cars. That is unless you were a weathered grandmother. When they planted a foot in the street every approaching car came to a loud, screeching stop. Grandmothers commanded respect. If you happened to be walking on one of the sidewalks where it suddenly narrowed into a one-person venue, you prayed that you would not suddenly come face to face with a granny. Some carried canes, but most settled for an umbrella which they were quick to use should you fail to yield to them. Better to leap out into the traffic and take your chances with the cars than to face a certain fate with an umbrella-welding grandmother.
At a time in life when many of us have to be medevaced out of bed in the morning, it is nice to note that in some circles grannies still command respect. Maybe you remember the case of 96-year-old Nellie Mitchell of Mountain Home, Arkansas. She woke up one morning and saw her picture in the supermarket tabloid with the caption, "World's Oldest Newspaper Carrier, 101, Quits Because She's Pregnant!" Now Miss Nellie was not going to take that lying down. She sued and won the not-so-paltry sum of $850,000 in punitive damages. The tabloid argued that anyone should have known by common sense that there was no truth to the story. Apparently they don’t know Arkansas women.
Then there is the story of Alicia Sorohan, a 61-year-old Australian grandmother of Brisbane, Australia. She was camping with a friend when a 14-foot crocodile grabbed her friend. Without a moment’s hesitation she jumped on the back of the croc trying to force the oversized critter to turn loose her friend. She succeeded, of course, and was awarded the Star of Courage, which recognizes Australian citizens for acts of outstanding bravery. She would have been right at home in Vienna.
Now, I have one bit of advice for all the traffic cops in LA. Be very careful before you bust any more grannies!
Surely you remember the story of Little Red Riding Hood. But do you remember her grandmother? She was gobbled up by the wolf, but was miraculously saved by the kindly woodsman who forced the wolf to spit her out. Her medical condition was reported as “a bit frazzled by the whole experience but still in one piece.” What more could you expect? “All’s well that ends well.” Granny was spared to totter on to the next century, but now her very existence may be threatened.
The LA Police Department has just busted an 82-year-old-woman for taking too long to cross the street. Mayvis Coyle was given a $114 traffic ticket for obstructing traffic because she failed to make it across the street before the “Walk Signal” turned red and the traffic light changed as well. It was probably a good thing that the policeman was not working the streets of Vienna a decade or so ago. Back then the little old ladies ruled both the streets and the sidewalks. At many dangerous intersections there were no signals. You would literally take your life in your hands should you set a foot in the street filled with kamikaze cars. That is unless you were a weathered grandmother. When they planted a foot in the street every approaching car came to a loud, screeching stop. Grandmothers commanded respect. If you happened to be walking on one of the sidewalks where it suddenly narrowed into a one-person venue, you prayed that you would not suddenly come face to face with a granny. Some carried canes, but most settled for an umbrella which they were quick to use should you fail to yield to them. Better to leap out into the traffic and take your chances with the cars than to face a certain fate with an umbrella-welding grandmother.
At a time in life when many of us have to be medevaced out of bed in the morning, it is nice to note that in some circles grannies still command respect. Maybe you remember the case of 96-year-old Nellie Mitchell of Mountain Home, Arkansas. She woke up one morning and saw her picture in the supermarket tabloid with the caption, "World's Oldest Newspaper Carrier, 101, Quits Because She's Pregnant!" Now Miss Nellie was not going to take that lying down. She sued and won the not-so-paltry sum of $850,000 in punitive damages. The tabloid argued that anyone should have known by common sense that there was no truth to the story. Apparently they don’t know Arkansas women.
Then there is the story of Alicia Sorohan, a 61-year-old Australian grandmother of Brisbane, Australia. She was camping with a friend when a 14-foot crocodile grabbed her friend. Without a moment’s hesitation she jumped on the back of the croc trying to force the oversized critter to turn loose her friend. She succeeded, of course, and was awarded the Star of Courage, which recognizes Australian citizens for acts of outstanding bravery. She would have been right at home in Vienna.
Now, I have one bit of advice for all the traffic cops in LA. Be very careful before you bust any more grannies!
