Thursday, June 15, 2006
Just Kidding!
In Tortilla Flat Pilon (Spencer Tracy) tells his friend to throw some rocks at a fishing boat. The fishermen must retaliate, so they start hurling fish back. Presto! Dinner is served. An implausible scenario? Not necessarily so! On Saturday, June 10, the Coast Guard sent a raft into the small boat harbor at Valdez to do a boom check to make sure there would not be another oil spill. Two workers asked their boss what the Coast Guard was doing in their harbor. “I have no idea,” he explained. They then asked what they should do. Obviously with something more important on his mind, he replied something to the effect: “I don’t know. Why don’t you go throw some rocks at them.” Not wishing to seem the least bit insubordinate, they did just that. Unfortunately, they hit an officer who was not amused. The two workers and their boss were all terminated. This was the Coast Guard—not Tortilla Flat. They were maybe expecting the Coast Guard to heave some king salmon at them.
Only two days earlier a student at Walled Lake, Michigan, told his chemistry teacher that he was going to make some TNT for his final class project. The teacher must have been having a bad day. He said something to the effect: “Sure! Go right ahead. Make my day!” The student was frantically at work mixing chemicals in three beakers trying to cook up some of the explosive from an Internet recipe. The teacher walked by and asked him what he was working on. In short order the lab was evacuated and a bomb squad called. The student explained that he only wanted to make enough to blow up a watermelon. Now every experienced teacher I know would never tell a teenager to follow though on some hare-brained idea. Too many “bomb squads” have been called in in the past.
Back in December, 1924, Benito Mussolini complained about one of his Socialist opponents. When some of his buddies asked what they should do. IL Duce remarked, “Why don’t some of you take him for a little ride.” Now, you just did not joke with Mussolini’s Blackshirts. They were not the joking types. So they took Mr. Matteoti for a little ride. His friends found his body a week or so later. The ensuing scandal almost destroyed Mr. Mussolini.
Now for a word to the wise. Even if you don’t live in a glass house, don’t go throwing rocks at the Coast Guard. They won’t like it. If your son asks if it is ok to mix up a little TNT, don’t respond with “Go ask your mother!” And never, but never, go for a “little ride” with anyone wearing a black shirt or with several loose wires hanging out from his shirt. True, they might be stereo wires, but you never know if the bomb squad will be around if you really need them.
In Tortilla Flat Pilon (Spencer Tracy) tells his friend to throw some rocks at a fishing boat. The fishermen must retaliate, so they start hurling fish back. Presto! Dinner is served. An implausible scenario? Not necessarily so! On Saturday, June 10, the Coast Guard sent a raft into the small boat harbor at Valdez to do a boom check to make sure there would not be another oil spill. Two workers asked their boss what the Coast Guard was doing in their harbor. “I have no idea,” he explained. They then asked what they should do. Obviously with something more important on his mind, he replied something to the effect: “I don’t know. Why don’t you go throw some rocks at them.” Not wishing to seem the least bit insubordinate, they did just that. Unfortunately, they hit an officer who was not amused. The two workers and their boss were all terminated. This was the Coast Guard—not Tortilla Flat. They were maybe expecting the Coast Guard to heave some king salmon at them.
Only two days earlier a student at Walled Lake, Michigan, told his chemistry teacher that he was going to make some TNT for his final class project. The teacher must have been having a bad day. He said something to the effect: “Sure! Go right ahead. Make my day!” The student was frantically at work mixing chemicals in three beakers trying to cook up some of the explosive from an Internet recipe. The teacher walked by and asked him what he was working on. In short order the lab was evacuated and a bomb squad called. The student explained that he only wanted to make enough to blow up a watermelon. Now every experienced teacher I know would never tell a teenager to follow though on some hare-brained idea. Too many “bomb squads” have been called in in the past.
Back in December, 1924, Benito Mussolini complained about one of his Socialist opponents. When some of his buddies asked what they should do. IL Duce remarked, “Why don’t some of you take him for a little ride.” Now, you just did not joke with Mussolini’s Blackshirts. They were not the joking types. So they took Mr. Matteoti for a little ride. His friends found his body a week or so later. The ensuing scandal almost destroyed Mr. Mussolini.
Now for a word to the wise. Even if you don’t live in a glass house, don’t go throwing rocks at the Coast Guard. They won’t like it. If your son asks if it is ok to mix up a little TNT, don’t respond with “Go ask your mother!” And never, but never, go for a “little ride” with anyone wearing a black shirt or with several loose wires hanging out from his shirt. True, they might be stereo wires, but you never know if the bomb squad will be around if you really need them.
