Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Time To Set the Night on Fire!
Do you remember the lyrics to The Doors’ hit song, “Light My Fire?” “Come on baby, light my fire, time to set the night on fire.” Well it seems that the jewel beetle, a.k.a. the black fire beetle, goes “wild” whenever it detects smoke or the distant flickering of flames. By “wild” I mean frisky, as in a mating frenzy. At least that is what professors at the University of Bonn have reported. No ring tone—just smoke and flames. Go ahead, “make my night, set the night on fire.”
OK! So you were not interested in an x-rated fire. Then how about the hospital patient in the Methodist Dallas Medical Center who decided he needed to smoke a cigarette. There was only one problem. He was wearing an oxygen mask at the time. He not only succeeded in lighting the cigarette, but the whole room as well. It was not even Friday the 13th—just Thursday the 13th. Or how about the honors student at Southern Arkansas University who accidentally managed to set fire to his dorm room—reducing everything in it to blackened goo. When the fire chief inspected the situation he reported that the room was actually an improvement--after the fire!
And speaking of home improvements. A homeowner in Tucson, Arizona, had his fill of unwanted bees in his attic. He had apparently heard of people using smoke to render bees harmless so that you could take their honey. So he started a little fire in his attic. The little fire soon became a large fire. Sure enough he got rid of the bees, although the damage tab to his roof was about $100,000. In a similar vein a woman in North Carolina tried to get rid of snakes on her front porch by dousing their nest with lighter fluid. So far so good. But then she accidentally dropped a lighted match. Swoosh! The snakes were gone and her porch was…. Well, you can just imagine.
And speaking of porches. Back in January Luciano Mares of Fort Sumner, New Mexico, needed to dispose of a mouse that he had caught in his house. He tossed it into a pile of burning leaves outside. The mouse as you can imagine did not take kindly to his new surroundings and gathered its strength and made a dash under Mares’ porch. Swoosh! In a matter of minutes his house was destroyed. Mares talked to a reporter from his motel room—his new home away from home.
Back in October of 2005, David Duvall was enjoying an outing at the Maryland Renaissance Festival in Cronwsville. A performer approached him and asked if she could set fire to his bald head. Without comprehending the possible consequences he agreed. Big mistake. He was hospitalized with burns on his head. His wife would later explain, “We thought they knew what they were doing.” Sure! Doesn’t everyone.
Now don’t go sneering. America has a long history of incompetence when it comes to fires. In fact, Captain John Smith of Pocahontas fame had to take medical leave in 1609 after accidentally exploding a bag of gunpowder he was wearing around his neck. The gene pool runs deep.
Do you remember the lyrics to The Doors’ hit song, “Light My Fire?” “Come on baby, light my fire, time to set the night on fire.” Well it seems that the jewel beetle, a.k.a. the black fire beetle, goes “wild” whenever it detects smoke or the distant flickering of flames. By “wild” I mean frisky, as in a mating frenzy. At least that is what professors at the University of Bonn have reported. No ring tone—just smoke and flames. Go ahead, “make my night, set the night on fire.”
OK! So you were not interested in an x-rated fire. Then how about the hospital patient in the Methodist Dallas Medical Center who decided he needed to smoke a cigarette. There was only one problem. He was wearing an oxygen mask at the time. He not only succeeded in lighting the cigarette, but the whole room as well. It was not even Friday the 13th—just Thursday the 13th. Or how about the honors student at Southern Arkansas University who accidentally managed to set fire to his dorm room—reducing everything in it to blackened goo. When the fire chief inspected the situation he reported that the room was actually an improvement--after the fire!
And speaking of home improvements. A homeowner in Tucson, Arizona, had his fill of unwanted bees in his attic. He had apparently heard of people using smoke to render bees harmless so that you could take their honey. So he started a little fire in his attic. The little fire soon became a large fire. Sure enough he got rid of the bees, although the damage tab to his roof was about $100,000. In a similar vein a woman in North Carolina tried to get rid of snakes on her front porch by dousing their nest with lighter fluid. So far so good. But then she accidentally dropped a lighted match. Swoosh! The snakes were gone and her porch was…. Well, you can just imagine.
And speaking of porches. Back in January Luciano Mares of Fort Sumner, New Mexico, needed to dispose of a mouse that he had caught in his house. He tossed it into a pile of burning leaves outside. The mouse as you can imagine did not take kindly to his new surroundings and gathered its strength and made a dash under Mares’ porch. Swoosh! In a matter of minutes his house was destroyed. Mares talked to a reporter from his motel room—his new home away from home.
Back in October of 2005, David Duvall was enjoying an outing at the Maryland Renaissance Festival in Cronwsville. A performer approached him and asked if she could set fire to his bald head. Without comprehending the possible consequences he agreed. Big mistake. He was hospitalized with burns on his head. His wife would later explain, “We thought they knew what they were doing.” Sure! Doesn’t everyone.
Now don’t go sneering. America has a long history of incompetence when it comes to fires. In fact, Captain John Smith of Pocahontas fame had to take medical leave in 1609 after accidentally exploding a bag of gunpowder he was wearing around his neck. The gene pool runs deep.
