Thursday, September 07, 2006
"Frankly, my dear!"
Rhett Butler, Gone with the Wind
Identity theft has become a major problem in the United States and around the world. However, in some areas of the world a few people would be happy to have someone steal their identity as long as they could get a new name. Iraqis named Saddam are flooding into government offices by the hundreds trying to change their names to anything but Saddam. In these perilous times that moniker could get you shot in a hurry. Well, almost anything. It all depends on where you live and work. If you are a Sunni and are around a group of Shiites, then one must avoid the name Omar. If you are a Shiite, then one should avoid the name Ali if one must mix with Sunnis. A good neutral name is Mohammed. If one owns a car and can afford to buy gasoline, then it might be wise to buy a fake license plate if one is going to drive any distance in the country. A Sunni plate in the city of Baghdad can get one shot. In some areas of the city it is too dangerous to drive with an identifying tag.
A sudden rush to change names is common after an unpopular war or a successful revolution. During the heyday of the French Revolution, it became a necessity to shuck the name Louis. In fact, the name “Louis” was so detested that people hauled their Louis XIV furniture into the streets and burned it—no need to take any chances when flaming republicans seemed to be everywhere. It was far better and much safer to be stuck with a name like “Constitution” or “Convention.” Things became so bad that anything that smacked of royalty was forbotten. The Street of the Kings became The Street of Thieves. The Queen bee became the laying bee. And the kings, queens and jacks in a deck of playing cards became liberties, equalities and fraternities.
In Romeo and Juliet Shakespeare wrote, “a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” Well, you might want to put that to the test by referring the issue to Frank Pontipee—one of the stars in Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. The seven brothers all had Biblical names starting from the first of the alphabet—Adam, Benjamin, Caleb, Daniel and Frank. Frank? At this point in the movie Frank generally started rolling up his sleeves for the donnybrook that was about to start. Frank it seemed did not exactly appreciate the name. As Caleb explained, “There wasn't an F name in the Bible, so they named him Frankincense, because he smelled so sweet.” Frank did not wish anyone to know his full name. And I can’t say that I blamed him. With all apologies to Shakespeare, a Yugo would still clunk just as much even it had another name.
One of the great ladies in the annals of Texas history was Ima Hogg who was named for a character in a poem written by her uncle. The heroine was really named Imogene, but was shortened to Ima for poetic purposes. James Stephen Hogg loved the poem so much that he decided to name his daughter Ima. When her grandfather got wind of the impending name, he rushed to the scene to try to talk sense to his poetic son only to learn that the girl had already been christened, Ima Hogg. Despite her name, Ima went on to earn the respect of virtually every Texan—no small feat then or now.
Oh! Did you hear about that little row that started over a different kind of hog? You know the Hatfield and the McCoy feud!
Politicians for one reason or another have often had to resort, legally or otherwise, to a name other than their birth name. Do you remember the political showdown between Durwood Frank Kyle and William Jefferson Blythe? Probably not! They were on the ballot as Frank White and Bill Clinton. Frank White won and Hillary decided it was time to change her name to Clinton. From then on Bill was in hog heaven. Well, most of the way at least. Some strange things happened on the way back from the Oval Office.
Here are some historical figures that you might not recognize if you saw only their birth names: Martha Burk (Calamity Jane), Sophia Augusta Frederika of Anhalt-Zerbst (Catherine the Great), Godgyfu (Lady Godiva), Carry Amelia Moore (Carry Nation), Agnes Gonxha Bojahiu (Mother Teresa) and Leslie Lynch King Jr. (Gerald Ford). All things considered Frank is not a bad name.
The corporate world has had its share of makeovers as well. Do you remember Jerry’s Guide to the World Wide Web? Of course not! But you do remember what it became, “Yahoo,” which is the acronym for "Yet Another Hierarchical Officious Oracle". Suddenly Frank does not sound bad at all. And do you remember “Backrub”? Nope! Not the kind that one gets in the tub. “Backrub” became Google. Thank goodness! I would certainly hate to ‘backrub” the majority of my colleagues. Frankly speaking, that says it all and “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn!”
Rhett Butler, Gone with the Wind
Identity theft has become a major problem in the United States and around the world. However, in some areas of the world a few people would be happy to have someone steal their identity as long as they could get a new name. Iraqis named Saddam are flooding into government offices by the hundreds trying to change their names to anything but Saddam. In these perilous times that moniker could get you shot in a hurry. Well, almost anything. It all depends on where you live and work. If you are a Sunni and are around a group of Shiites, then one must avoid the name Omar. If you are a Shiite, then one should avoid the name Ali if one must mix with Sunnis. A good neutral name is Mohammed. If one owns a car and can afford to buy gasoline, then it might be wise to buy a fake license plate if one is going to drive any distance in the country. A Sunni plate in the city of Baghdad can get one shot. In some areas of the city it is too dangerous to drive with an identifying tag.
A sudden rush to change names is common after an unpopular war or a successful revolution. During the heyday of the French Revolution, it became a necessity to shuck the name Louis. In fact, the name “Louis” was so detested that people hauled their Louis XIV furniture into the streets and burned it—no need to take any chances when flaming republicans seemed to be everywhere. It was far better and much safer to be stuck with a name like “Constitution” or “Convention.” Things became so bad that anything that smacked of royalty was forbotten. The Street of the Kings became The Street of Thieves. The Queen bee became the laying bee. And the kings, queens and jacks in a deck of playing cards became liberties, equalities and fraternities.
In Romeo and Juliet Shakespeare wrote, “a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” Well, you might want to put that to the test by referring the issue to Frank Pontipee—one of the stars in Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. The seven brothers all had Biblical names starting from the first of the alphabet—Adam, Benjamin, Caleb, Daniel and Frank. Frank? At this point in the movie Frank generally started rolling up his sleeves for the donnybrook that was about to start. Frank it seemed did not exactly appreciate the name. As Caleb explained, “There wasn't an F name in the Bible, so they named him Frankincense, because he smelled so sweet.” Frank did not wish anyone to know his full name. And I can’t say that I blamed him. With all apologies to Shakespeare, a Yugo would still clunk just as much even it had another name.
One of the great ladies in the annals of Texas history was Ima Hogg who was named for a character in a poem written by her uncle. The heroine was really named Imogene, but was shortened to Ima for poetic purposes. James Stephen Hogg loved the poem so much that he decided to name his daughter Ima. When her grandfather got wind of the impending name, he rushed to the scene to try to talk sense to his poetic son only to learn that the girl had already been christened, Ima Hogg. Despite her name, Ima went on to earn the respect of virtually every Texan—no small feat then or now.
Oh! Did you hear about that little row that started over a different kind of hog? You know the Hatfield and the McCoy feud!
Politicians for one reason or another have often had to resort, legally or otherwise, to a name other than their birth name. Do you remember the political showdown between Durwood Frank Kyle and William Jefferson Blythe? Probably not! They were on the ballot as Frank White and Bill Clinton. Frank White won and Hillary decided it was time to change her name to Clinton. From then on Bill was in hog heaven. Well, most of the way at least. Some strange things happened on the way back from the Oval Office.
Here are some historical figures that you might not recognize if you saw only their birth names: Martha Burk (Calamity Jane), Sophia Augusta Frederika of Anhalt-Zerbst (Catherine the Great), Godgyfu (Lady Godiva), Carry Amelia Moore (Carry Nation), Agnes Gonxha Bojahiu (Mother Teresa) and Leslie Lynch King Jr. (Gerald Ford). All things considered Frank is not a bad name.
The corporate world has had its share of makeovers as well. Do you remember Jerry’s Guide to the World Wide Web? Of course not! But you do remember what it became, “Yahoo,” which is the acronym for "Yet Another Hierarchical Officious Oracle". Suddenly Frank does not sound bad at all. And do you remember “Backrub”? Nope! Not the kind that one gets in the tub. “Backrub” became Google. Thank goodness! I would certainly hate to ‘backrub” the majority of my colleagues. Frankly speaking, that says it all and “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn!”
