Wednesday, November 22, 2006
A Living Wage!
Fortune magazine has released its list of top earning dead celebrities. Now some us might qualify as “living dead,” but we must still punch the time clock when we go to work to rake in the chips. No work—no chips. But a select few still manage to make millions long after they have departed this world. Half of the top ten on Fortune’s list are singers and three catered, note the past tense here, to the children’s market—Dr. Seuss, Charles Schultz and Albert Einstein. Yep, the same Einstein that gave us quantum physics and E=MC squared. But Albert did not ring up the moolah for his physics. Nope his heirs licensed his image to produce the popular children’s video, Baby Einstein. To a great extent that program is geared to the very young at heart—those tykes who can’t yet count and are just learning to speak. Every parent and grandparent know that their younguns are bright, but very few would argue that at that tender age they could possibly understand Einstein. Heck, most of us can’t do that. While I can say that I have actually read some of Albert’s writings, not a titillating summary (titillating only to a few nerdy types), and that I still have a book of his writings on my bookshelf, I must confess that the book itself can still be classified as being in "almost mint condition." Personally, I much prefer titillating prose to titillating physics.
For the most part most of us will concede that Einstein was dealing with issues far beyond our capabilities. But there are a few recently minted know-it-alls who have come up with a list of things that Einstein did not know. In fact, they made a TV special out of it a few years ago. Now what was it that he did not know? I am not sure what he did know, so I have no idea what he did not know. Maybe I should have started with one of those books like Einstein for Dummies Like You.
However, there is one thing I can tell you about what the guy with the bad-hair-day 365 days a year did not know. Patents. Yep, he did not understand patents. In fact, he managed to get himself fired from one of his first jobs in a patent office. OK. Maybe he thought that some of the patent submissions that he scrutinized were frivolous to put it mildly or perhaps they were not worthy of being patented. Whatever, he managed to loose his job. But what if he could have mastered the concept of patents. Could he have patented his intellectual property and owned the whole subject of physics? Or perhaps he could have taken his equation E=MC squared and given it a real catchy name like “Big Mac” and licensed it to those people with the Golden Arches. Wow! Take about a fortune on residuals. Or what if he could have patented the idea of an atomic bomb? Just think his heirs could be suing the North Koreans and the Iranians right now—for billions, not millions. And lest you think this concept is too far-fetched, just remember Al Capone went to jail for income tax evasion not for any criminal activity.
And what is next for the dead celebs? How about Kindergarten Einstein and Elementary Einstein. Actually I don’t think that “elementary” would work. What was it that Sir Conan Doyle wrote, “Elementary Watson, elementary”? But how long can it be before some University decides to change its name to Einstein U? Just think of how much money his heirs could make on that one. Move over Elvis and Peanuts because Albert has arrived.
Fortune magazine has released its list of top earning dead celebrities. Now some us might qualify as “living dead,” but we must still punch the time clock when we go to work to rake in the chips. No work—no chips. But a select few still manage to make millions long after they have departed this world. Half of the top ten on Fortune’s list are singers and three catered, note the past tense here, to the children’s market—Dr. Seuss, Charles Schultz and Albert Einstein. Yep, the same Einstein that gave us quantum physics and E=MC squared. But Albert did not ring up the moolah for his physics. Nope his heirs licensed his image to produce the popular children’s video, Baby Einstein. To a great extent that program is geared to the very young at heart—those tykes who can’t yet count and are just learning to speak. Every parent and grandparent know that their younguns are bright, but very few would argue that at that tender age they could possibly understand Einstein. Heck, most of us can’t do that. While I can say that I have actually read some of Albert’s writings, not a titillating summary (titillating only to a few nerdy types), and that I still have a book of his writings on my bookshelf, I must confess that the book itself can still be classified as being in "almost mint condition." Personally, I much prefer titillating prose to titillating physics.
For the most part most of us will concede that Einstein was dealing with issues far beyond our capabilities. But there are a few recently minted know-it-alls who have come up with a list of things that Einstein did not know. In fact, they made a TV special out of it a few years ago. Now what was it that he did not know? I am not sure what he did know, so I have no idea what he did not know. Maybe I should have started with one of those books like Einstein for Dummies Like You.
However, there is one thing I can tell you about what the guy with the bad-hair-day 365 days a year did not know. Patents. Yep, he did not understand patents. In fact, he managed to get himself fired from one of his first jobs in a patent office. OK. Maybe he thought that some of the patent submissions that he scrutinized were frivolous to put it mildly or perhaps they were not worthy of being patented. Whatever, he managed to loose his job. But what if he could have mastered the concept of patents. Could he have patented his intellectual property and owned the whole subject of physics? Or perhaps he could have taken his equation E=MC squared and given it a real catchy name like “Big Mac” and licensed it to those people with the Golden Arches. Wow! Take about a fortune on residuals. Or what if he could have patented the idea of an atomic bomb? Just think his heirs could be suing the North Koreans and the Iranians right now—for billions, not millions. And lest you think this concept is too far-fetched, just remember Al Capone went to jail for income tax evasion not for any criminal activity.
And what is next for the dead celebs? How about Kindergarten Einstein and Elementary Einstein. Actually I don’t think that “elementary” would work. What was it that Sir Conan Doyle wrote, “Elementary Watson, elementary”? But how long can it be before some University decides to change its name to Einstein U? Just think of how much money his heirs could make on that one. Move over Elvis and Peanuts because Albert has arrived.
