Friday, January 06, 2006
Seven Courses of Death!
Food can be a fulfilling experience. Sometimes! The Last Meal! The Last Supper! Leftover Turkey and Dressing! The ill-begotten fruitcake! Spam which is the state food of Hawaii! For a long time people would not eat tomatoes from the New World because they were from the nightshade family and everyone knows what nightshade can do to a person. It leaves them with a pale and sickening color as if they are dead and they usually are. They were given the nickname ‘love apples.” No need to leave a suicide note when grieving over a lost love. Just leave a tomato beside the body. That spoke volumes especially for those who could not write. Some foods can leave you a bit queasy such as Harry Potter’s Every Flavor Jellybean. In Africa there are deep fried grasshoppers and in the South there are deep-fired Oreos or anything else that you can think of, or in this case perhaps you prefer not to think about it at all. Some sound downright lethal or at least people take the trouble to bury the food before they will eat it. In Korea Kim Chee is a fermented mixture of veggies and meat which supposedly is buried and allowed to age before it is eaten. In Burma there is ngapi-jaw which makes your house smell like dead fish. In West Virginia kids have been known to eat ramps, members of the onion family, which have such a disgusting odor that teachers have been known to send the kids home from school. When the French first came to Alaska they gave the name Eskimo (eaters of raw meet) to the natives. Now that is definitely a misnomer. The “Eskimos” it seems much prefer Muktuk, which is deep fried blubber. For dessert there is always Eskimo ice cream, which in reality is really “blubber ice cream.” Many people in Alaska, at least three or four, are fond of eulachon (pronounced “hooligan”) spread. This delicacy is made by burying eulachon fish for three weeks and then rendering the remains into a liquid. When it cools and congeals it can then be used like mayo. If three weeks underground is not enough to whet your appetite, try stinkheads. The Yup’ik people of Alaska bury fish, generally salmon, for the entire summer and later they are dug up and eaten. They are served to gussaks, foreigners, who are inquisitive about local culture. Anymore questions? Final chance! Anymore questions?
Food can be a fulfilling experience. Sometimes! The Last Meal! The Last Supper! Leftover Turkey and Dressing! The ill-begotten fruitcake! Spam which is the state food of Hawaii! For a long time people would not eat tomatoes from the New World because they were from the nightshade family and everyone knows what nightshade can do to a person. It leaves them with a pale and sickening color as if they are dead and they usually are. They were given the nickname ‘love apples.” No need to leave a suicide note when grieving over a lost love. Just leave a tomato beside the body. That spoke volumes especially for those who could not write. Some foods can leave you a bit queasy such as Harry Potter’s Every Flavor Jellybean. In Africa there are deep fried grasshoppers and in the South there are deep-fired Oreos or anything else that you can think of, or in this case perhaps you prefer not to think about it at all. Some sound downright lethal or at least people take the trouble to bury the food before they will eat it. In Korea Kim Chee is a fermented mixture of veggies and meat which supposedly is buried and allowed to age before it is eaten. In Burma there is ngapi-jaw which makes your house smell like dead fish. In West Virginia kids have been known to eat ramps, members of the onion family, which have such a disgusting odor that teachers have been known to send the kids home from school. When the French first came to Alaska they gave the name Eskimo (eaters of raw meet) to the natives. Now that is definitely a misnomer. The “Eskimos” it seems much prefer Muktuk, which is deep fried blubber. For dessert there is always Eskimo ice cream, which in reality is really “blubber ice cream.” Many people in Alaska, at least three or four, are fond of eulachon (pronounced “hooligan”) spread. This delicacy is made by burying eulachon fish for three weeks and then rendering the remains into a liquid. When it cools and congeals it can then be used like mayo. If three weeks underground is not enough to whet your appetite, try stinkheads. The Yup’ik people of Alaska bury fish, generally salmon, for the entire summer and later they are dug up and eaten. They are served to gussaks, foreigners, who are inquisitive about local culture. Anymore questions? Final chance! Anymore questions?
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
Drop of Death!
New Year is ushered in in unique ways in different parts of the country. Black eye peas and hog jowl are standard in the South with the belief that you will get $1 during the year for every pea you eat on New Year’s Day. That custom seems to be fading away because with inflation, one would have to eat a barrel of peas plus the appropriate amount of cornbread to have a good year. However, as old customs die new ones arise. In Anchorage it is the New Year’s Day Drop of Death Sled Race. It had its beginning on January 1, 2003, when a few hardy souls, some or all perhaps tanked up on too much Duck Fart or maybe it was just a double-dog dare, ventured up to Flattop Mountain with sleds and decided to sled four miles down a ski trail. At times the sledders reach 37 mph. At other times they have to pull their sleds on some of the flatter areas. The real adventure starts when they reach the Pigs in a Luge portion of the trail, assuming they make it that far. Most of the women, children and now sobered wimps have long since bailed out. The final furlong is marked by a 200-foot vertical drop, which could best be described as a ski jump minus a landing strip—the Drop of Death. No wonder I encountered three normally foolhardy teenagers coming down Sultana Drive in front of our house each of whom had decided to take an early option exit and risk a sixty-dollar fine since they would all like to be able to toast in the next New Year or did not want to be laid to rest along side their best laid plans. The last stretch does offer a runaway ramp for those individuals who suddenly see their whole life flash before their eyes. Unfortunately it does consist of numerous alders to brake the speed. It is a testimony to human intelligence that the few survivors who have made it thus far generally take to the alders. This year 49 individuals started the race. Advance registration is not required.
New Year is ushered in in unique ways in different parts of the country. Black eye peas and hog jowl are standard in the South with the belief that you will get $1 during the year for every pea you eat on New Year’s Day. That custom seems to be fading away because with inflation, one would have to eat a barrel of peas plus the appropriate amount of cornbread to have a good year. However, as old customs die new ones arise. In Anchorage it is the New Year’s Day Drop of Death Sled Race. It had its beginning on January 1, 2003, when a few hardy souls, some or all perhaps tanked up on too much Duck Fart or maybe it was just a double-dog dare, ventured up to Flattop Mountain with sleds and decided to sled four miles down a ski trail. At times the sledders reach 37 mph. At other times they have to pull their sleds on some of the flatter areas. The real adventure starts when they reach the Pigs in a Luge portion of the trail, assuming they make it that far. Most of the women, children and now sobered wimps have long since bailed out. The final furlong is marked by a 200-foot vertical drop, which could best be described as a ski jump minus a landing strip—the Drop of Death. No wonder I encountered three normally foolhardy teenagers coming down Sultana Drive in front of our house each of whom had decided to take an early option exit and risk a sixty-dollar fine since they would all like to be able to toast in the next New Year or did not want to be laid to rest along side their best laid plans. The last stretch does offer a runaway ramp for those individuals who suddenly see their whole life flash before their eyes. Unfortunately it does consist of numerous alders to brake the speed. It is a testimony to human intelligence that the few survivors who have made it thus far generally take to the alders. This year 49 individuals started the race. Advance registration is not required.
Sunday, January 01, 2006
High Wire Act
December can be hard on Moose. Many are killed wandering down the highway. Others just seemed annoyed. One attacked a Moose statue in Oslo. Another attacked a couple of joggers. Another Moose rang a doorbell twice in Norway apparently just to let people know that it is not always the postman who rings twice. It was reported sometime back that it was illegal for a Moose to walk on the sidewalk in Fairbanks, although officials there denied that that was the case. It is illegal, however, to give a Moose a drink there, especially Duck Fart which is all the rage up here. At Wasilla about 40 miles up the road from Anchorage, it became necessary to put up a Moose mat similar to a cattle guard to keep them out since they had became rather adept at going through the gates around the airport (not boarding gates thank goodness because security might have just waved them on through). A few days ago the Anchorage Daily News had a picture of a Moose festooned with a string of Christmas lights around its neck, a fairly common occurrence here I am told. After all it is the season for Moose too! A few months ago a Moose got entangled with some wires while it was grazing. As the light crew down the road applied tension to the wires to attach them to a tower, the moose suddenly found itself dangling high above the ground until someone spotted it and it was rescued. A great high wire act if ever there was one. Too bad Barnum and Bailey were not there to sign the Moose up.
December can be hard on Moose. Many are killed wandering down the highway. Others just seemed annoyed. One attacked a Moose statue in Oslo. Another attacked a couple of joggers. Another Moose rang a doorbell twice in Norway apparently just to let people know that it is not always the postman who rings twice. It was reported sometime back that it was illegal for a Moose to walk on the sidewalk in Fairbanks, although officials there denied that that was the case. It is illegal, however, to give a Moose a drink there, especially Duck Fart which is all the rage up here. At Wasilla about 40 miles up the road from Anchorage, it became necessary to put up a Moose mat similar to a cattle guard to keep them out since they had became rather adept at going through the gates around the airport (not boarding gates thank goodness because security might have just waved them on through). A few days ago the Anchorage Daily News had a picture of a Moose festooned with a string of Christmas lights around its neck, a fairly common occurrence here I am told. After all it is the season for Moose too! A few months ago a Moose got entangled with some wires while it was grazing. As the light crew down the road applied tension to the wires to attach them to a tower, the moose suddenly found itself dangling high above the ground until someone spotted it and it was rescued. A great high wire act if ever there was one. Too bad Barnum and Bailey were not there to sign the Moose up.
