Friday, March 17, 2006
One of those days!
Did you ever have one of those days when nothing seemed to go right? I have had more than my share of those. I was splitting wood with a wedge one day, when the wedge went flying out of the log, bounced on the ground, ricocheted again and then struck me on my shin. My leg was totally numb and badly bruised at the minimum. When I asked my doctor to check it out, I got a lecture on how to split wood. On another occasion I popped a handful on peanuts into my mouth and then snizzed. One of the nuts went up into my sinuses. After spending a miserable night I went to my doctor—a different one since I did not need a lecture on how to eat peanuts. He did not know what to do so he sent me to an ear, nose and throat specialist. After a quick examination by the specialist, he sent in his assistant to have a look. I knew that he was thinking that I had stuck a peanut up my nose and something had gone tragically wrong. It would have been funny if I were not in such agonizing pain. When they were unable to remove the nut after dilating my nose, they finally resorted to surgery. Whew! That hurt more than the peanut. Since then whenever I eat peanuts, I eat them very carefully one at a time.
Two years ago we drove to Lake Tahoe to spend a week and I had a different kind of nut problem. I had changed the battery on my Camry right before we left, but in the process I did not get the battery clamp securely fastened. After we stopped for lunch the car would not start. The battery appeared to be dead. I raised the hood and took stock of the situation. I tried to move the battery cable and the hood light came to life. The car started right up. Since my tools were packed beneath a ton of luggage, I decided to wait until we were at the Marriott Timberlodge before trying to tighten up the battery cable. Big mistake! When we arrived at the Lodge, there was nothing but valet parking. I was not permitted to work on the car in the garage or underneath the canopy at the check-in entrance. It could wait until tomorrow. The next morning we drove to Fallen Leaf Lake and had a great time. As we prepared to leave, I suddenly remembered the loose battery cable. Out there in the wilds I did not need permission to work on my car. So I got out my tools and tightened the loose nut good and tight. Too tight! Way too tight! The battery connection snapped in two. We were back to Go. I turned the ignition switch and nothing happened. Not even a whimper. We were out of cell phone range and not a soul in sight. We were a good ten miles from nowhere. And it was getting dark. I thought of MacGiver and his duct tape, but I did not have any duct tape with me. I tried all the usual things and nothing worked. Then I got an inspiration. I took a penny, which is made of copper, and wedged it in. The car started right up. We drove thirty miles back to Tahoe before we found an auto parts store. This time I did not ask permission. I just worked away with my limited tools until I had the broken part replaced.
Two of those days happened back-to-back as we prepared to move to New Mexico. We had loaded a small U-Haul Truck with a load of books and other paraphernalia that would have put us over the limit on our moving van. For the most part these were items that we thought we would need before the moving van would show up at our new abode. As we started to walk out of the house my wife slipped and broke her wrist. We rushed her to the emergency room. They placed a fixator on her arm and kept her for overnight observation. The problem was that I was to drive the U-Haul and she was to drive our car. However, there was no way she could drive. My brother volunteered to drive the truck and I drove our car. Everything went smoothly until we reached Muleshoe, Texas. Suddenly a police car turned on its lights and pulled my brother over. Unbeknownst to us, the U-Haul did not have any operable lights in the rear. When the policeman was certain that we were not hauling drugs or other contraband, he let us go. An hour later when we pulled up in front of our new home, I felt a huge sight of relief. It did not last long. I reached into my pocket for the house key and all I found was a hole in my pocket. Unable to get into the house we started checking motels. There was no room anywhere. We finally called the realtor and she happened to have a spare key. Think God for small miracles. We drug a mattress out of the U-Haul and inflated a blow-up mattress. Everyone collapsed on their bedding and fell asleep in the hot, humid air. Our final thought for the night was it was just one of those days!
Did you ever have one of those days when nothing seemed to go right? I have had more than my share of those. I was splitting wood with a wedge one day, when the wedge went flying out of the log, bounced on the ground, ricocheted again and then struck me on my shin. My leg was totally numb and badly bruised at the minimum. When I asked my doctor to check it out, I got a lecture on how to split wood. On another occasion I popped a handful on peanuts into my mouth and then snizzed. One of the nuts went up into my sinuses. After spending a miserable night I went to my doctor—a different one since I did not need a lecture on how to eat peanuts. He did not know what to do so he sent me to an ear, nose and throat specialist. After a quick examination by the specialist, he sent in his assistant to have a look. I knew that he was thinking that I had stuck a peanut up my nose and something had gone tragically wrong. It would have been funny if I were not in such agonizing pain. When they were unable to remove the nut after dilating my nose, they finally resorted to surgery. Whew! That hurt more than the peanut. Since then whenever I eat peanuts, I eat them very carefully one at a time.
Two years ago we drove to Lake Tahoe to spend a week and I had a different kind of nut problem. I had changed the battery on my Camry right before we left, but in the process I did not get the battery clamp securely fastened. After we stopped for lunch the car would not start. The battery appeared to be dead. I raised the hood and took stock of the situation. I tried to move the battery cable and the hood light came to life. The car started right up. Since my tools were packed beneath a ton of luggage, I decided to wait until we were at the Marriott Timberlodge before trying to tighten up the battery cable. Big mistake! When we arrived at the Lodge, there was nothing but valet parking. I was not permitted to work on the car in the garage or underneath the canopy at the check-in entrance. It could wait until tomorrow. The next morning we drove to Fallen Leaf Lake and had a great time. As we prepared to leave, I suddenly remembered the loose battery cable. Out there in the wilds I did not need permission to work on my car. So I got out my tools and tightened the loose nut good and tight. Too tight! Way too tight! The battery connection snapped in two. We were back to Go. I turned the ignition switch and nothing happened. Not even a whimper. We were out of cell phone range and not a soul in sight. We were a good ten miles from nowhere. And it was getting dark. I thought of MacGiver and his duct tape, but I did not have any duct tape with me. I tried all the usual things and nothing worked. Then I got an inspiration. I took a penny, which is made of copper, and wedged it in. The car started right up. We drove thirty miles back to Tahoe before we found an auto parts store. This time I did not ask permission. I just worked away with my limited tools until I had the broken part replaced.
Two of those days happened back-to-back as we prepared to move to New Mexico. We had loaded a small U-Haul Truck with a load of books and other paraphernalia that would have put us over the limit on our moving van. For the most part these were items that we thought we would need before the moving van would show up at our new abode. As we started to walk out of the house my wife slipped and broke her wrist. We rushed her to the emergency room. They placed a fixator on her arm and kept her for overnight observation. The problem was that I was to drive the U-Haul and she was to drive our car. However, there was no way she could drive. My brother volunteered to drive the truck and I drove our car. Everything went smoothly until we reached Muleshoe, Texas. Suddenly a police car turned on its lights and pulled my brother over. Unbeknownst to us, the U-Haul did not have any operable lights in the rear. When the policeman was certain that we were not hauling drugs or other contraband, he let us go. An hour later when we pulled up in front of our new home, I felt a huge sight of relief. It did not last long. I reached into my pocket for the house key and all I found was a hole in my pocket. Unable to get into the house we started checking motels. There was no room anywhere. We finally called the realtor and she happened to have a spare key. Think God for small miracles. We drug a mattress out of the U-Haul and inflated a blow-up mattress. Everyone collapsed on their bedding and fell asleep in the hot, humid air. Our final thought for the night was it was just one of those days!
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Ice Age Returns to Fairbanks!Fairbanks wanted to do something extra special this year for its World Ice Art Championships. Someone decided that it would be great to premiere the New Ice Age movie and bring in some of its big stars—voices in this case. Most were familiar with Bob Hope’s one liner about Alaska. “Your hands will freeze off if you go there!” Fairbanks does get plenty cold—even in March. So invitations were extended and regrets after regrets poured in. Finally, John Leguizamo, the voice of Sid the Sloth, volunteered or maybe was drafted. He made his grand entry by a dogsled pulled by Siberian Huskies. It must have been a short ride because he was not wearing a hat or a scarf. He remarked that "I used to complain about New York weather, but I'm never complaining again!" He added, "This is the coldest, most beautiful place I've been to in my life.” He also had trouble signing autographs with his gloves on. Welcome to Fairbanks.
In the animated movie Leguizamo gives voice to Sid the Sloth—a giant ground sloth. We normally think of sloths as slow moving tropical creatures. If you are half frozen, then you probably are slow moving—very slow. And, yes, once upon a time there were sloths here and in the lower 48. Four types to be precise. Some of these were giants who weighed five tons and were as big as elephants. Naturally they had trouble climbing trees and lived on the ground. They could walk upright as in the movie. There is some evidence from the Kimmswick Site to suggest that the Clovis People may have used the hides of the Harlan's ground sloth.
Legends would persist that giant creatures left over from earlier ages still roamed the earth. Rumor had it that the giant sloth might still be counted among their numbers. In the 1890’s Ramon Lista was hunting in Argentina when a creature that looked like a giant armadillo crossed his path. He tried unsuccessfully to shoot it. When a paleontologist heard Listra’s story he was convinced that it was a giant sloth and went to check it out. He was so certain of success that he named it Neomylodon listai, or "Lista's new Mylodon. He became even more excited when some indigenous people showed him the hide of a creature and he was convinced that he had found something to rival the Abominable Snowman and the Lock Ness Monster. When the hide was tested it proved to be about 10,000 years old. The Abominable Sloth was no more.
We recently visited the Sloth Sanctuary at Aviarios del Caribe on the banks of the Estrella River Estuary in Costa Rica. It is run by Bill and Judy Arroyo. Judy met Bill here in Alaska, but got married and moved to Costa Rica where it is much warmer. They did not have any intention of starting a rescue program for sloths. It just happened one day when someone gifted them with a baby sloth that they named Buttercup. They quickly became experts as more and more were deposited on their doorsteps. For some reason, babies are unable to hold on to their mothers and drop to the forest floor where they become easy prey for snakes and other jungle creatures. Bill and Judy now care for 20 some-odd sloths. Some are of the two- toed and some of the three-toed variety. They are small but nimble creatures that live high in the trees where they are safe from their predators. They descend to the forest floor only once every eight days. They are cute and cuddly. And by the way, if you wander the trails there is no chance of a five-ton Abominable Sloth falling on your head. Remember the giant sloth is extinct. Remember they don’t live in trees. Don’t look up!
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Monday, March 13, 2006
Real Pirates of the Caribbean!
If you have been to the movies the last couple of years or rented a movie you have probably seen Johnny Depp as pirate Jack Sparrow in the Pirates of the Caribbean. If you are more accustomed to the classics, then you probably remember the swashbuckling Errol Flynn. Of course both were fictional but there were real pirates of the Caribbean. You might be wondering why I am not writing about pirates of the Bering Sea or other Arctic climes. I don’t know of any. Pirates tend to go where there is gold and there just was not any during the heyday of the buccaneers. The Russians were virtually giving away Alaska. Nome and the Klondike would come much later. I have read, however, that an Arctic Pirate uttered the phrase “Shiver my timber!” If true, that would explain why there are almost no pirates around here. They prefer to drink their rum on warm, sandy beaches.
One of the most famous of the real pirates of the Caribbean was Admiral Edward Vernon. Of course he did not start out as an admiral, but he did apprentice as a buccaneer. His home base was Jamaica—plenty of rum there. The British had seized this lightly guarded island from the Spanish in 1655 and had set up pirate operations there. In 1739 Vernon sailed to Portobello, Panama, along with Lawrence Washington, the brother of George, and destroyed the city. Thousands of medals were struck by the British to commemorate this event. In fact Vernon became the most celebrated Brit in the eighteenth century. The Spanish naturally took strong exception to this dastardly deed. So strong that it started the War of Jenkins Ear. To be certain, Jenkins had lost his ear eight years earlier. But no matter. When he showed the severed ear to the members of Parliament as proof of a Spanish atrocity, they were aghast. They voted for war. Back in the 13 colonies George Washington paid homage to his brother’s commanding officer by naming his estate Mount Vernon in honor of the pirate Edward Vernon.
In 1555, Mary Tudor had married her cousin Philip II, the Emperor of Spain. She soon became known as Bloody Mary. She died in 1558. Elizabeth I, a protestant, then came to the throne. Philip II was soon courting his sister-in-law. No dice. She kept him at bay. However, she was in desperate need of money to shore up her shaky regime. She turned to the private sector and befriended Francis Drake. He agreed to split his loot with her royal majesty. He was dispatched to the Caribbean to prey on Spanish galleons laden with gold and silver. He plundered scores of ships in the Caribbean. When Philip asked his sister-in-law about Drake, she protested that she knew nothing of the man. Philip did not buy into this at all. In 1579 Francis rounded the tip of South America and pillaged Spanish settlements along the Pacific. He seized the treasure ship Cacafuego and got access to all the Spanish nautical maps of the Pacific. With his ship now heavily laden with gold and silver he decided it would be unwise to sail back to England the way he had come. He continued across the Pacific and finally reached home in 1580 becoming the second man to circumnavigate the globe. Queen Elizabeth was overjoyed—not necessarily because of the circumnavigation, but more probably because of her share of the booty. She boarded the Golden Hind and knighted the pirate—officially making him Sir Francis. Philip was not pleased. He simmered for seven years. He was even less pleased when Sir Francis raided the port city of Cadiz in 1587 burning all his seasoned barrel staves that he needed for the Armada that he was going to send against England the next year. When the Armada was launched in 1588 the ships carried their provisions in green barrels that slowly poisoned their food and water—a situation that proved fatal when the Spanish ran out of ammunition and were forced to sail around the British Islands.
In 1596 Drake was back in the Caribbean. He launched another attack on Portobello. This time he was unsuccessful. He died of dysentery and was buried at sea in a lead coffin just outside Portobello.
The final Chapter in Portobello History focused on Thomas Gage, an English Jesuit priest. In 1637 Gage had visited Panama and wrote a vivid memoir of his travels. There was so much silver in Portobello that it had to be stored on the streets because there was insufficient room in the customs house. Now that caught the attention of everyone—especially the pirates on Jamaica. Everyone coveted the Spanish gold, but no one had the means or the wherewithal to get to it. None that is until Henry Morgan. In 1668 Morgan dropped his rum and headed for Portobello. The first two forts fell quickly but Morgan finally was forced to use priests and nuns to shield his troops as they scaled the walls. Victory was theirs but the plunder was small. There was no silver on the streets and no silver in the customs house. Poor pirates!
If you have been to the movies the last couple of years or rented a movie you have probably seen Johnny Depp as pirate Jack Sparrow in the Pirates of the Caribbean. If you are more accustomed to the classics, then you probably remember the swashbuckling Errol Flynn. Of course both were fictional but there were real pirates of the Caribbean. You might be wondering why I am not writing about pirates of the Bering Sea or other Arctic climes. I don’t know of any. Pirates tend to go where there is gold and there just was not any during the heyday of the buccaneers. The Russians were virtually giving away Alaska. Nome and the Klondike would come much later. I have read, however, that an Arctic Pirate uttered the phrase “Shiver my timber!” If true, that would explain why there are almost no pirates around here. They prefer to drink their rum on warm, sandy beaches.
One of the most famous of the real pirates of the Caribbean was Admiral Edward Vernon. Of course he did not start out as an admiral, but he did apprentice as a buccaneer. His home base was Jamaica—plenty of rum there. The British had seized this lightly guarded island from the Spanish in 1655 and had set up pirate operations there. In 1739 Vernon sailed to Portobello, Panama, along with Lawrence Washington, the brother of George, and destroyed the city. Thousands of medals were struck by the British to commemorate this event. In fact Vernon became the most celebrated Brit in the eighteenth century. The Spanish naturally took strong exception to this dastardly deed. So strong that it started the War of Jenkins Ear. To be certain, Jenkins had lost his ear eight years earlier. But no matter. When he showed the severed ear to the members of Parliament as proof of a Spanish atrocity, they were aghast. They voted for war. Back in the 13 colonies George Washington paid homage to his brother’s commanding officer by naming his estate Mount Vernon in honor of the pirate Edward Vernon.
In 1555, Mary Tudor had married her cousin Philip II, the Emperor of Spain. She soon became known as Bloody Mary. She died in 1558. Elizabeth I, a protestant, then came to the throne. Philip II was soon courting his sister-in-law. No dice. She kept him at bay. However, she was in desperate need of money to shore up her shaky regime. She turned to the private sector and befriended Francis Drake. He agreed to split his loot with her royal majesty. He was dispatched to the Caribbean to prey on Spanish galleons laden with gold and silver. He plundered scores of ships in the Caribbean. When Philip asked his sister-in-law about Drake, she protested that she knew nothing of the man. Philip did not buy into this at all. In 1579 Francis rounded the tip of South America and pillaged Spanish settlements along the Pacific. He seized the treasure ship Cacafuego and got access to all the Spanish nautical maps of the Pacific. With his ship now heavily laden with gold and silver he decided it would be unwise to sail back to England the way he had come. He continued across the Pacific and finally reached home in 1580 becoming the second man to circumnavigate the globe. Queen Elizabeth was overjoyed—not necessarily because of the circumnavigation, but more probably because of her share of the booty. She boarded the Golden Hind and knighted the pirate—officially making him Sir Francis. Philip was not pleased. He simmered for seven years. He was even less pleased when Sir Francis raided the port city of Cadiz in 1587 burning all his seasoned barrel staves that he needed for the Armada that he was going to send against England the next year. When the Armada was launched in 1588 the ships carried their provisions in green barrels that slowly poisoned their food and water—a situation that proved fatal when the Spanish ran out of ammunition and were forced to sail around the British Islands.
In 1596 Drake was back in the Caribbean. He launched another attack on Portobello. This time he was unsuccessful. He died of dysentery and was buried at sea in a lead coffin just outside Portobello.
The final Chapter in Portobello History focused on Thomas Gage, an English Jesuit priest. In 1637 Gage had visited Panama and wrote a vivid memoir of his travels. There was so much silver in Portobello that it had to be stored on the streets because there was insufficient room in the customs house. Now that caught the attention of everyone—especially the pirates on Jamaica. Everyone coveted the Spanish gold, but no one had the means or the wherewithal to get to it. None that is until Henry Morgan. In 1668 Morgan dropped his rum and headed for Portobello. The first two forts fell quickly but Morgan finally was forced to use priests and nuns to shield his troops as they scaled the walls. Victory was theirs but the plunder was small. There was no silver on the streets and no silver in the customs house. Poor pirates!
