Monday, April 24, 2006
Lost in Translation!
No one can be certain when beer was actually invented. One prominent botanist has suggested that the first cereal crops were actually grown to provide feedstock to manufacture beer. But one thing is certain, if cereal crops were not grown for the express purpose of brewing beer, most of the fields in the Tigris-Euphrates Valley were quickly converted to barley production. The barley in turn was converted into beer.
The recipe for beer was first written down on paper in 3800 BC by the Sumerians. At least it would have been if they had actually had paper. But since paper had not yet been invented they had to use a clay tablet. There has been some speculation that the invention of beer was a byproduct of trying to make wild barley edible. Someone tossed some hardened bread into a pot of water and added some fruit. Presto, the mixture began to ferment. And soon there was intoxicated bread, and soon thereafter intoxicated Sumerians. And soon thereafter there was Ninka, Sumerian Goddess of brewing. And soon after that there were bars and taverns. And then Hammurabi passed a law with a death penalty for anyone who watered down the brew.
Several attempts have been made in recent years to re-create the miraculous Sumerian brew. These efforts have not been all that successful. It is difficult to get all the items on that clay tablet properly translated. The beverage tastes rather strange. It is as if someone left out a key ingredient. Or perhaps the wrong-size measuring “cup” was used. In any even, it has failed to measure up to its former popularity.
The Celtics have been given most of the credit for the wine industry in Italy. Some up and coming entrepreneurs have managed to get their hands on an ancient Celtic manuscript for making wine. We are told that the Celts were true wine connoisseurs. There was a lot more to them than horns and helmets. They are bottling the original Celtic wine and selling it at fancy prices. It is described as a rich, full-bodied wine with a strong sandy taste. Now, I am not sure why anyone would want a wine with a strong sandy taste. Maybe they are hoping that no one will read that far down on the label. Of course, there is always the possibility that someone mistranslated the word “sand.”
And then again maybe the translation is correct. Think of the movie, Mister Roberts. Ensign Pulver enters his quarters to fetch a bottle of red-label scotch only to discover that it has disappeared courtesy of his two friends. He needs it badly to ingratiate himself with a blonde nurse. So they decide to help him. They begin making a false bottle of scotch. They start with plain alcohol. Add coke for color. Then hair tonic to age it. And to perfect it they add the missing ingredient—a drop of iodine. Now, I don’t know about you, but I have never tasted iodine. And while it may be true that lots of people say that scotch tastes like iodine, how can we be sure that they have ever tasted iodine themselves. Why would anyone knowingly taste iodine? Smell it, yes! But taste it?
Then there is the Great Escape. Hilts and Hendley decide to make faux vodka. They rig a still, add potatoes and wait. The finished product was described as one of the most disgusting substances ever to cross the lips of our esteemed British expert. There is only one word to describe the concoction. “Wow!”
In The Teahouse of the August Moon, Captain Fisby is sent to Okinawa to Americanize a remote village. The villagers fail miserably at manufacturing would-be exports. The experiment seems to be a colossal failure until they start brewing sweet potato brandy. “Wow!”
Beer and alcohol have played prominent roles in the history of the United States. When the Pilgrims left England they had barrels and barrels of beer. According to historians, when they arrived at Plymouth Rock they were off course and out of beer. Off course was one thing. Out of beer another. They decide to settle where they were and start brewing post haste. Now, everyone is familiar with the Boston Tea Party. Well, maybe not! It did start in the Green Dragon Tavern, but after that…. And there is the Whiskey Rebellion. In 1791, Alexander Hamilton and George Washington needed money to prop up the new government. They imposed a six- to nine-cent tax a gallon on distilled spirits. Faster than you can say chug-a-lug there was a full-blown rebellion—the Whiskey Rebellion. Of course, the feds won. But many of the disgruntled rebels moved to what is now Tennessee and Kentucky to escape the clutches of the law. Soon they were busy brewing the usual and turning out large quantities of bourbon.
Then there was prohibition. But where there was prohibition there was bathtub booze and speakeasies galore. Now while I am far too young to remember prohibition, I have a friend who was there. He told me about several college students who had rented a room from an elderly lady. The room came with a rather dilapidated garage and an old rickety door. It was perfect for what they had in mind. They bought lots and lots of “ingredients” and set up a still in the garage. They turned out several large barrels of stuff based on an old Celtic recipe, or maybe it was Sumerian in origin. Who knows? After a few days there was a loud explosion in the garage. The guys looked out their window and were horrified. The garage door had been blown completely off its hinges. They rushed out to repair it before their landlady returned. It seems that something in that ancient recipe was lost in translation. “Wow!” and “Boom!” sound a lot alike.
No one can be certain when beer was actually invented. One prominent botanist has suggested that the first cereal crops were actually grown to provide feedstock to manufacture beer. But one thing is certain, if cereal crops were not grown for the express purpose of brewing beer, most of the fields in the Tigris-Euphrates Valley were quickly converted to barley production. The barley in turn was converted into beer.
The recipe for beer was first written down on paper in 3800 BC by the Sumerians. At least it would have been if they had actually had paper. But since paper had not yet been invented they had to use a clay tablet. There has been some speculation that the invention of beer was a byproduct of trying to make wild barley edible. Someone tossed some hardened bread into a pot of water and added some fruit. Presto, the mixture began to ferment. And soon there was intoxicated bread, and soon thereafter intoxicated Sumerians. And soon thereafter there was Ninka, Sumerian Goddess of brewing. And soon after that there were bars and taverns. And then Hammurabi passed a law with a death penalty for anyone who watered down the brew.
Several attempts have been made in recent years to re-create the miraculous Sumerian brew. These efforts have not been all that successful. It is difficult to get all the items on that clay tablet properly translated. The beverage tastes rather strange. It is as if someone left out a key ingredient. Or perhaps the wrong-size measuring “cup” was used. In any even, it has failed to measure up to its former popularity.
The Celtics have been given most of the credit for the wine industry in Italy. Some up and coming entrepreneurs have managed to get their hands on an ancient Celtic manuscript for making wine. We are told that the Celts were true wine connoisseurs. There was a lot more to them than horns and helmets. They are bottling the original Celtic wine and selling it at fancy prices. It is described as a rich, full-bodied wine with a strong sandy taste. Now, I am not sure why anyone would want a wine with a strong sandy taste. Maybe they are hoping that no one will read that far down on the label. Of course, there is always the possibility that someone mistranslated the word “sand.”
And then again maybe the translation is correct. Think of the movie, Mister Roberts. Ensign Pulver enters his quarters to fetch a bottle of red-label scotch only to discover that it has disappeared courtesy of his two friends. He needs it badly to ingratiate himself with a blonde nurse. So they decide to help him. They begin making a false bottle of scotch. They start with plain alcohol. Add coke for color. Then hair tonic to age it. And to perfect it they add the missing ingredient—a drop of iodine. Now, I don’t know about you, but I have never tasted iodine. And while it may be true that lots of people say that scotch tastes like iodine, how can we be sure that they have ever tasted iodine themselves. Why would anyone knowingly taste iodine? Smell it, yes! But taste it?
Then there is the Great Escape. Hilts and Hendley decide to make faux vodka. They rig a still, add potatoes and wait. The finished product was described as one of the most disgusting substances ever to cross the lips of our esteemed British expert. There is only one word to describe the concoction. “Wow!”
In The Teahouse of the August Moon, Captain Fisby is sent to Okinawa to Americanize a remote village. The villagers fail miserably at manufacturing would-be exports. The experiment seems to be a colossal failure until they start brewing sweet potato brandy. “Wow!”
Beer and alcohol have played prominent roles in the history of the United States. When the Pilgrims left England they had barrels and barrels of beer. According to historians, when they arrived at Plymouth Rock they were off course and out of beer. Off course was one thing. Out of beer another. They decide to settle where they were and start brewing post haste. Now, everyone is familiar with the Boston Tea Party. Well, maybe not! It did start in the Green Dragon Tavern, but after that…. And there is the Whiskey Rebellion. In 1791, Alexander Hamilton and George Washington needed money to prop up the new government. They imposed a six- to nine-cent tax a gallon on distilled spirits. Faster than you can say chug-a-lug there was a full-blown rebellion—the Whiskey Rebellion. Of course, the feds won. But many of the disgruntled rebels moved to what is now Tennessee and Kentucky to escape the clutches of the law. Soon they were busy brewing the usual and turning out large quantities of bourbon.
Then there was prohibition. But where there was prohibition there was bathtub booze and speakeasies galore. Now while I am far too young to remember prohibition, I have a friend who was there. He told me about several college students who had rented a room from an elderly lady. The room came with a rather dilapidated garage and an old rickety door. It was perfect for what they had in mind. They bought lots and lots of “ingredients” and set up a still in the garage. They turned out several large barrels of stuff based on an old Celtic recipe, or maybe it was Sumerian in origin. Who knows? After a few days there was a loud explosion in the garage. The guys looked out their window and were horrified. The garage door had been blown completely off its hinges. They rushed out to repair it before their landlady returned. It seems that something in that ancient recipe was lost in translation. “Wow!” and “Boom!” sound a lot alike.
