Saturday, June 02, 2007
Joe Btfsplk Reincarnated!
Many of you are far too young to remember Al Capp’s Joe Btfsplk in his Li’l Abner comic strip. But during its heyday, the comic strip had more than 90 million readers and was syndicated in more than 900 newspapers. Dogpatch USA was a licensed spin-off in the Arkansas Ozarks and it thrived for many years. But alas, Dogpatch has been defunct for 14 years. And almost everyone who grew up in the forties, fifties or sixties probably is well acquainted with the Sadie Hawkins Day races, which were standard fare during that age. It was the one day of the year in which females could catch any male and drag him back across the finish line and be married in style. (This was well before the dawn of women’s lib). Joe Btfsplk was a recurring character in the comic strip. Wherever Joe went a dark cloud hung over his head and disaster was soon to follow both for Joe and whoever else happened to be at hand. Heck, as I write this my computer screen suddenly went blank and the computer had to be restarted. It was an ominous beginning to say the least. Maybe we should just let old Joe rest in peace. On the other hand why not tempt fate just one more time. Thank goodness for the recovery feature on this laptop.
Well, there are days when I do think that I must be Joe Btfsplk reincarnated. There was a time many years ago when the kids were watching TV, but were at least a safe distance from the set. When suddenly there was a loud explosion and the picture tube exploded in the middle of the living room. Shattered glass was everywhere, but the kids were safe. Many years after that my daughter was driving her car down the highway and “whoomp,” the back windshield blew out. Now these are the kind of things that just don’t happen everyday or even during one’s lifetime.
But what happens when bad things follow bad things? Do you look up for that dark cloud? Not me! I just keep trudging along seemingly at peace with the world when suddenly a bolt from that dark cloud zaps me. Here are just a few of the things that have occurred in the last few weeks. We bought a new car and drove it to El Paso. A dark cloud, naturally, appeared and then some rain so we drove back to our motel but before we could get out of the car, it started to hail. Well, with a brand new car and fewer than 500 miles on the odometer, what would you do? We drove it under the canopy and waited out the storm. The next day we learned that a tornado was almost on top of us in a most unlikely location. Two weeks later we were out on a Sunday night playing dominoes, when a storm suddenly came up. There was a lot of thunder and lightning and Marvin turned on the TV. A severe thunderstorm with hail was only a few minutes away. We looked at each other and thought, surely not. But in less than two minutes one could hear the hail hitting. It seemed to be in hot pursuit of our new vehicle. After the storm had abated and we had finished playing Mexican train, we went out to the street and could see that that there was a steady stream of water about two feet wide pouring down the street. Now, having been raised in the honor of chivalry, I leapt about three feet across the flowing water only to discover that it was four feet wide and not two. And I landed in water up to my ankles. The pristine carpet on the car was suddenly deprived of its pristineness.
The Sunday before this episode occurred we were out playing Mexican train again, what else can one do in a small town on a Sunday night? But before we went out, I had changed the washer on the shower faucet. I had turned off the water to prevent any disaster from happening. Well, when we returned home and I turned on the tap, nada! There was no water. Now being an observant person, I concluded that I must not have turned the water back on at the main. So I trudged out into the rain and got my water meter tool to turn the water back on. I removed the cover from the meter and turned the valve. I then went back into the house and tried the tap again. Nada! So I went back outside and turned the valve back to where it was before. It was obvious that the water main had broken again and the entire city was probably without water. Had I only known before I became soaked to the bone.
Somewhere along here I should note that a little over a year earlier, a water pipe had burst under the house leaking 10,000 gallons of water. I should also note that when I replaced the washer on the tub in the main bathroom and turned the water back on the water pressure blew out the entire gasket and shot a heavy stream of water at the opposite wall. Well, the good news was that it was not 10,000 gallons.
About two months ago we bought a used pop-up trailer for a long camping trip with our two grandsons. We carefully prepped the trailer, cleaning ever nook and cranny. We discovered that we had only one key to open the trailer, and decided that past circumstances dictated the need for a second key. We went to Wal-Mart to see if they could accommodate us. They made four keys, none of which would work. We then went to Ace Hardware and after finally finding someone to assist; I trotted home with a key. I tried it and it did not work. We finally drove 18 miles up the road to Clovis and stopped at an RV place, and they gave us a key for a mere $4. Now for the exciting part. As we prepared to couple the trailer to our SUV, I discovered to my dismay that the four retractable legs would not retract, at least three would not. After two hours of valiant struggling I finally got them back to where they should be. We arrived a bit weary at Mt. Taylor for our first night in the camper. Totally exhausted, I fell into a sound sleep. The next morning, I tried to retract the three recalcitrant legs. They would not budge. Now a sound’s night sleep can solve many a problem. I simply cranked up the front of the camper until the rear two legs became retractable and then I lowered the front end, until the left front leg became compliant.
Now back to the circumstantial need for a second key. When we move to Portales five years ago, my brother helped us move because my wife had broken her wrist, as we were literally getting ready to walk out the door. My brother opted to drive the U-Haul truck and I drove one of our cars. We made it to Muleshoe, Texas, where my brother was pulled over for not having a light on the back of the U-Haul. I stopped to see what was the matter and began to fumble with the change and keys in my pocket. We made it to Portales about midnight. I reached into my pocket for the house key and all I found was a hole. We checked every motel in town and there was not a room to be had. In desperation we called the realtor and woke her up at 1 in the morning and she came over in her pajamas with the second key.
And did I mention our trip to Lake Tahoe? We arrived at the Marriott with a loose battery cable. Since they frowned on anyone doing mechanical work at their entrance, and since only the valets were permitted in the parking area, I decided to tighten the cable when we were at a more convenient location. Well, we made it to Fallen Leaf Lake and for some unbeknownst reason; I decided that that was a convenient location. As I applied a little torque to the bolt, I heard a sickening sound. The cable connection had broken into two pieces. We were twenty miles from nowhere and not a soul was around and we were out of range for our cell phone.
And then there was the time when my four-year-old tied one end of a small nylon rope to the car door. Till this day I do no know what was supposed to be tied to the other end. Nor do I know where he got the rope. What I do know was that when I started the car and put it in drive, I heard a loud “whoomp!” I had no idea what had happened, but it sounded to me as if the transmission had fallen out of the car. I got out and looked under the car but saw nothing. I walked around to the passenger’s side and the door handle was practically ripped from the car and attached to it was a rope with the other end beneath the rear tire.
But I digress here. I was going to mention only the events of the last few weeks. But thinking back, just maybe they really were not worth mentioning.
