Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Not a Pretty Sight!
Think of a famous dog painting! What comes to mind? Quite likely it is a group of dogs sitting around a table playing cards. Most have a drink at hand and one has cards in his paws. Ah, ha! A card cheat! Well, think again. Think about that drink! A sip or two and he begins to act human. How long before he becomes royally boozed? Think again of the
Renaissance painting Yonker Ramp and His Sweetheart—a red-cheeked youth raising his hand and challenging one and all to come to his brawl. Now how long will it be before our card shark dog gets nailed and turns to violence? But you say those are only paintings. They are not real dogs?
Do dogs really drink? Think about St. Bernards with those kegs around their necks. OK! Let’s get real for a few moments. A Netherlands brewery is now churning out a premium beer just for dogs. It is expensive, but nonetheless it is for man’s best friend. Moreover, a state legislator in the United States has just introduced a bill to give dogs the right to drink in his state. He allowed as how it was a shame to have all the dogs tied up outside while their masters were having a real bash inside. Will Lassie know when to say when? How long will it be before we need a Yorkies Anonymous? How long will it be before we need a whole row of fire hydrants outside of every pub?
For all their smarts or lack thereof, dogs are rather late getting their drinking rights. Think of the Budweiser family! Frogs and Lizards! Think of a drunken horse! Nothing comes to mind? Then how about the horse in Cat Ballou? Some years ago there was a documentary on the Discovery Channel, I believe, that detailed the plight of honeybees that finally made it back to the hive after a robust round of alcoholic nectar. There was a bouncer stationed at the entrance to keep them out.
Now the following information is from reliable sources. They must be reliable because they are relatives. A man once had a raccoon that came in every night for some suds. The man gave him a bottle of beer and the raccoon would then roll over on his back and take the bottle in his paws and work at the cap until he got it opened, guzzling down every drop. Now trying to get a raccoon to give up any habit is well neigh impossible. One drink and he is an addict forever.
Armadillos are somewhat different. They have a habit of trying to cross the road, but seldom seem to make it. The reason is now apparent. A number of dearly-departed armadillos have been found in Missouri, of all places, propped up with a beer can between their paws. It is not a pretty sight! But then neither is seeing dogs cheating at cards! What is the world coming to?
Think of a famous dog painting! What comes to mind? Quite likely it is a group of dogs sitting around a table playing cards. Most have a drink at hand and one has cards in his paws. Ah, ha! A card cheat! Well, think again. Think about that drink! A sip or two and he begins to act human. How long before he becomes royally boozed? Think again of the
Renaissance painting Yonker Ramp and His Sweetheart—a red-cheeked youth raising his hand and challenging one and all to come to his brawl. Now how long will it be before our card shark dog gets nailed and turns to violence? But you say those are only paintings. They are not real dogs?
Do dogs really drink? Think about St. Bernards with those kegs around their necks. OK! Let’s get real for a few moments. A Netherlands brewery is now churning out a premium beer just for dogs. It is expensive, but nonetheless it is for man’s best friend. Moreover, a state legislator in the United States has just introduced a bill to give dogs the right to drink in his state. He allowed as how it was a shame to have all the dogs tied up outside while their masters were having a real bash inside. Will Lassie know when to say when? How long will it be before we need a Yorkies Anonymous? How long will it be before we need a whole row of fire hydrants outside of every pub?
For all their smarts or lack thereof, dogs are rather late getting their drinking rights. Think of the Budweiser family! Frogs and Lizards! Think of a drunken horse! Nothing comes to mind? Then how about the horse in Cat Ballou? Some years ago there was a documentary on the Discovery Channel, I believe, that detailed the plight of honeybees that finally made it back to the hive after a robust round of alcoholic nectar. There was a bouncer stationed at the entrance to keep them out.
Now the following information is from reliable sources. They must be reliable because they are relatives. A man once had a raccoon that came in every night for some suds. The man gave him a bottle of beer and the raccoon would then roll over on his back and take the bottle in his paws and work at the cap until he got it opened, guzzling down every drop. Now trying to get a raccoon to give up any habit is well neigh impossible. One drink and he is an addict forever.
Armadillos are somewhat different. They have a habit of trying to cross the road, but seldom seem to make it. The reason is now apparent. A number of dearly-departed armadillos have been found in Missouri, of all places, propped up with a beer can between their paws. It is not a pretty sight! But then neither is seeing dogs cheating at cards! What is the world coming to?
