Wednesday, February 07, 2007
The Road to Utopia!
Chances are you never heard of the Bob Hope movie, The Road to Utopia. It was just one of many “road movies” that Bob Hope and Bing Crosby made together. Let’s see, for starters there was The Road to Morocco, The Road to Singapore, The Road to Rio and several others. In the Road to Utopia our two intrepid travelers, or at least that term fits one of our two heroes, make their way to Alaska in search of gold. One of the characters was a giant St. Bernard who had a penchant for showing up at all the wrong times—the last time carrying a lit stick of dynamite. A wrong turn here and a wrong turn there and before you know it our two sidekicks were up to their eyebrows in trouble as they unknowingly engaged in identity thief of the worst possible crime—two nefarious villains. A time or two they were in need of a good map and some timely directions. What they really could have used was a good GPS—you know one of those electronic devices that knows all the trails and all the speakeasies. Then again maybe not!
Earlier in the week we were cruising through Orlando with our daughter and her husband along with their handy, dandy GPS. The miniature gadget looks like a hand-held video game. The screen has a green road with dotted lines that a person is supposed to follow. We were doing quite well until we came to a sudden fork in the road. We went right when we should have gone left. The GSP was about 5 mph slow in telling us that we had made a mistake. It then tried to atone for its tardiness by suggesting that we turn around and go back to where we made our mistake. The only problem was that we were on a one-way highway. A turnaround was impossible. Well, maybe not if one is a trained stunt driver on a closed highway. We were neither, so we kept on going. Once again it urged us to take a left turn—the problem was that that left turn would have taken us through some shrubs and a few sizable trees. Since we did not have that insurance with accident forgiveness we did the sensible thing and ignored the GSP once again. We finally found our destination after an extended detour. Later our son-in-law decided to use the device to find a movie. When they arrived at their “destination,” all they found was a nice residential area—no cinema. They then punched in another move destination and arrived only to find that one where it was supposed to be—but, alas, it was closed. My wife and I managed quite well without the electronic atlas—we got lost just as quickly and eventually found our way back.
Now if you have been keeping up with the news, then you know that we were not the first group to have this type of problem. A gentleman in England (or there any other kind?) was directed by his GPS to turn and drive through a railroad tunnel. Not wanting to argue with this “superior intelligence,” he did as he was told. He traveled less than a hundred yards before he became stuck and was forced to call for assistance. Other individuals have been directed to drive over non-existent bridges, and some have found their cars submerged or worse.
But these GPS devices do provide some answers to some of history’s greatest mysteries (depends on who you are asking)! Now we are talking about early prototypes that are available only to the rich and famous. Take Senator Kennedy. As he was driving a certain person home, his primitive GPS no doubt directed him into the drink at Chappaquiddick. It then told him to swim the wrong way for assistance. And how about O.J. Simpson? Remember how he and his friend were in that white Bronco on the San Diego Freeway supposedly headed for Mexico with 20 police cruisers in slow pursuit. He probably was relying on an early GPS that told him he was either in a school zone or approaching the Mexican border and should reduce his speed accordingly. What other explanation would make any sense? And The Road to Utopia? Everything turned out all right in the movie. Now if only our heroes could get a second chance to learn from their mistakes. Seems like they did in the Road to Morocco. They blew up the ship the second time just like the first.
Chances are you never heard of the Bob Hope movie, The Road to Utopia. It was just one of many “road movies” that Bob Hope and Bing Crosby made together. Let’s see, for starters there was The Road to Morocco, The Road to Singapore, The Road to Rio and several others. In the Road to Utopia our two intrepid travelers, or at least that term fits one of our two heroes, make their way to Alaska in search of gold. One of the characters was a giant St. Bernard who had a penchant for showing up at all the wrong times—the last time carrying a lit stick of dynamite. A wrong turn here and a wrong turn there and before you know it our two sidekicks were up to their eyebrows in trouble as they unknowingly engaged in identity thief of the worst possible crime—two nefarious villains. A time or two they were in need of a good map and some timely directions. What they really could have used was a good GPS—you know one of those electronic devices that knows all the trails and all the speakeasies. Then again maybe not!
Earlier in the week we were cruising through Orlando with our daughter and her husband along with their handy, dandy GPS. The miniature gadget looks like a hand-held video game. The screen has a green road with dotted lines that a person is supposed to follow. We were doing quite well until we came to a sudden fork in the road. We went right when we should have gone left. The GSP was about 5 mph slow in telling us that we had made a mistake. It then tried to atone for its tardiness by suggesting that we turn around and go back to where we made our mistake. The only problem was that we were on a one-way highway. A turnaround was impossible. Well, maybe not if one is a trained stunt driver on a closed highway. We were neither, so we kept on going. Once again it urged us to take a left turn—the problem was that that left turn would have taken us through some shrubs and a few sizable trees. Since we did not have that insurance with accident forgiveness we did the sensible thing and ignored the GSP once again. We finally found our destination after an extended detour. Later our son-in-law decided to use the device to find a movie. When they arrived at their “destination,” all they found was a nice residential area—no cinema. They then punched in another move destination and arrived only to find that one where it was supposed to be—but, alas, it was closed. My wife and I managed quite well without the electronic atlas—we got lost just as quickly and eventually found our way back.
Now if you have been keeping up with the news, then you know that we were not the first group to have this type of problem. A gentleman in England (or there any other kind?) was directed by his GPS to turn and drive through a railroad tunnel. Not wanting to argue with this “superior intelligence,” he did as he was told. He traveled less than a hundred yards before he became stuck and was forced to call for assistance. Other individuals have been directed to drive over non-existent bridges, and some have found their cars submerged or worse.
But these GPS devices do provide some answers to some of history’s greatest mysteries (depends on who you are asking)! Now we are talking about early prototypes that are available only to the rich and famous. Take Senator Kennedy. As he was driving a certain person home, his primitive GPS no doubt directed him into the drink at Chappaquiddick. It then told him to swim the wrong way for assistance. And how about O.J. Simpson? Remember how he and his friend were in that white Bronco on the San Diego Freeway supposedly headed for Mexico with 20 police cruisers in slow pursuit. He probably was relying on an early GPS that told him he was either in a school zone or approaching the Mexican border and should reduce his speed accordingly. What other explanation would make any sense? And The Road to Utopia? Everything turned out all right in the movie. Now if only our heroes could get a second chance to learn from their mistakes. Seems like they did in the Road to Morocco. They blew up the ship the second time just like the first.
