Thursday, October 11, 2007
Johnny Come Lately!
The remodeling of our house continues apace. The kitchen, hallway and three bathrooms have all been tiled. In order to tile the bathrooms the three commodes all had to be pulled. I did the pulling, but not the tiling. After yanking the commode from the back bathroom it was placed outside on the concrete patio. My wife, for reasons unknown to me, also placed the toilet bowl brush outside with its mate. I suppose the unusual location was in case someone unexpectedly felt the urge to go. This arrangement continued for a number of weeks since the tile process took quite some time to complete. I should note also that my wife asked me not to re-install the commodes until she had wall papered behind their former residences. Less anyone should jump to a false assumption, let me observe for the record that the johns were rotated out in sequential order so that at least one was usable at all times. Luckily we did not have any guests because all the doors were removed for refinishing.
Monday I gave the wayward john on the patio a careful going over. During its weeks of unfettered freedom it had accumulated a large quantity of dirt and grim. I washed it down with the hose and carefully cleaned the underside. It proved to be all but impossible to remove all the grime inside the tank. That is not a real problem I thought. Once it was re-installed a couple of good flushes should clean out its insides. When it had dried off, I hauled it back into the bathroom. The flange was firmly anchored but when I tried to seat my throne, I discovered that the bolts that should hold it firmly to the floor were not long enough to do the job. I scampered out to the garage and returned triumphant with some longer bolts. The job should now be finished in no time.
I should tell you that during the weeks that the toilet was removed from its accustomed spot, careful measures had been employed to prevent sewer gas from escaping back into the house. A couple of rags had been stuffed down into the drain to provide a sealed environment. There was not going to be any outhouse odor in our house. I carefully lowered the pink stool into place. After struggling to replace the water connection, I suddenly remembered that I had had to replace the cutoff valve some weeks before. After I removed the superfluous compression joint everything looked just fine. I turned on the water. Voila! There was a leak. I turned the water back off and tightened all connections. I turned the water back on and then off again. I had forgotten to reattach the float. Once it was back on, I raised the seat and looked inside. There was a heck of a lot of dirt in the bowl. It will flush out I reassured myself one more time. I turned the water back on and listened for it to cut off. It did and I suddenly felt euphoric. The job was done.
Somewhere along the way I had let the seat back down. After all who wants to look at a dirty potty bowl? I flushed and listened intently for the big gurgle that always signals the grand finale. As the water approached the fill line and there was still no gurgle, I began to fill sick all over. In a panic I raised the seat and the bowl was almost running over. Happily not a single drop went on the floor. What had I done wrong? Then I remembered—the rags stuffed in the drain pile. They were still there. But now I had the tank full of water and the bowl full as well. A plunger would not work. I turned the water back off and began to bail the water from the tank with a coffee can. When I had removed a couple of quarts that way, I noticed a strange phenomenon. The water in the tank was starting to drain. The water was seeping through the rags. Hallelujah? While waiting for the water to dissipate, I felt a bit like Noah. After bailing a couple more quarts from the tank, I flushed once again and waited. This time the water went much faster. I took the Rainbow and vacuumed out the little that remained.
I then removed the retaining nuts and tilted the pink monster to one side and pulled out the rags. I lowered the unit and reattached it to the floor. I flushed and it worked. Everything was once again in harmony.
I then remembered that I had promised my wife that I would fix the leaking faucet in her bathroom. I took one step in that direction and stopped. One plumbing job a day is enough. Why tempt fate?Post Options
